


it's stronger than i know how to be

by cosetties



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Banter, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, isak and even's late night aesthetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9064558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosetties/pseuds/cosetties
Summary: It’s New Year’s Eve and he has a boy tucked under his arm as they stumble through the empty streets of Oslo, their hands slipped firmly into the pockets of each other’s jackets.“It’s the start of something new,” Isak says. His eyes are full of mischief. “What movie?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The Moment by Tame Impala. 
> 
> This started out as headcanons for Isak/Even late-night shenanigans, then turned into an uncapitalized drabble that I only fixed up so people wouldn't be confused between "even" and "Even," so I apologize if it's a mess! It's probably the quickest fic I've ever written.

It’s hard to sleep, even when he’s taken his meds. Sometimes, Even thinks he’d still be like this if he weren’t bipolar, his brain screaming at him to _go_ when his bones creak at their confines. He thinks about the stars, and how they’re millions of light-years away, how they may not be there at all. He thinks about the missed possibilities as he lies here half-asleep, what he’s lost already. He thinks about love, and longing, and happiness, and how he can lose it all in one go.

“Let’s go,” he tells Isak, tugging at his shoulder. Isak yawns, sleep still heavy in his eyes. He’d stayed up late to finish a physics lab, entering data about projectile motion onto his laptop for hours. Even had his own English homework to finish, but watched Isak instead. Who needed Tennyson when he could write love poetry about the way Isak typed, fingers poised over the keys as he bit his lip? 

“It’s 4 in the morning, Even,” Isak says blearily. He wraps his arms around his pillow and snuggles closer into it.

“The early bird gets the worm.”

Isak tells him “fuck you” but he’s already grabbing his shoes and a jacket.

It’s New Year’s Eve, and it’s almost a new beginning but not quite. It’s New Year’s Eve, and it feels like nothing has ever changed, will ever change. It’s New Year’s Eve and he has a boy tucked under his arm as they stumble through the empty streets of Oslo, their hands slipped firmly into the pockets of each other’s jackets.

“It’s the start of something new,” Isak says. His eyes are full of mischief. “What movie?”

Even hates him so much. Isak is the least funny person he’s ever met.

“You’re ruining the moment.”

“Didn’t know there was a moment to ruin, since you dragged my ass out into the cold for no reason when we have dinner with your parents in twelve hours…”

Isak’s grin betrays him. He would follow Even anywhere, and that’s what Even’s afraid of. Isak trusts Even to lead, but the truth is, he’s in it for the boy at his side, not the destination. 

Even grabs on to the closest streetlamp with a hand, and swings around it. He catches Isak’s hand again as he finishes the loop, and Isak’s grin grows wider. “Do you ever wonder what happens at night? When everything’s quiet? Someone could be falling in love, or dying, or –“

Isak leans against the pole next to him. “Or scrolling through their Facebook feeds, bored out of their minds? You’ve seen too many movies, you nerd. Not everything is profound.”

“Doesn’t it feel like it, though? That out of all the alternate universes, we just happen to be in this one, holding hands and smiling. You happen to be wearing a red scarf instead of a yellow one, your bed creaks on the right side instead of the left. Why?”

“I thought alternate universes freaked you out.”

Even squints at him. “Maybe that’s not right. Maybe they’re just too much pressure, you know, for us to make something out of this universe. To _be_ someone.” 

Isak’s voice is dry. “That’s beautiful, what movie’s that from?”

“It's an original. Maybe I’ll put it into the movie I’ll make about us one day.”

“What’s the concept?” The last word gets dragged out, drawn into a yawn. Isak tucks his head under Even’s arm. The buzzing in Even’s brain turns down a notch.

Even whispers directly into Isak's ear. “Two dumb boys fall in love, with the help of their merry friends, weed, and tissues. I’d cast someone hotter as you, though. You don’t quite have the hair to be a star. Maybe Zac Efron. Can’t rap any worse than you.”

Isak’s eyes are bright with mirth, even half-asleep. “Whose first introduction to rap was _Eminem?”_

“At least I didn’t have the lyrics to Same Love memorized once.”

Isak purses his lips. “That was a lie. Jonas was lying." 

“He has it on video.”

“That was my evil twin. His name is Lars, and my parents always loved him more. That’s why he has issues.”

Isak’s staring at the city like he’s never seen it before. It’s ridiculous - they’re standing on a barely lit side street only two blocks from Isak’s apartment, but it’s an entirely new world in the dark of night. More beautiful, fragile.

“What do you want to do right now?” Even asks, quiet. In the stillness, his voice has never sounded this loud, not even in his own head. It scares him, just a little.

Isak’s lips quirk. “Well, you said someone may be falling in love now, right?” He presses a kiss to the corner of Even’s mouth, light as a feather. It’s not enough, but it makes Even burn all the same.

“That’s cheating. That already happened.”

Isak draws back, laughing. “I’m not talking about you. Maybe I’ll go have a threesome with the Chrises. Pretty sure Schistad would bang anyone, and Chris Berg had a thing for me way before Kasper came around.”

Even snickers. “I did hear you were a flirt back in the day.” 

Isak snakes his hands through Even’s arms to wrap around his waist, solid in his warmth. They meet at the small of Even’s back, lingering above his ass. Isak’s smile is wicked. “Who said I’m not now?”

Even’s breath catches.

Isak mumbles something incoherent low in his throat, and Even feels it somewhere in his gut. He’s just about to suggest that they abandon this entire endeavor and make the trek back to the warmth of Isak’s bed when Isak says, “I could go for a McFlurry?”

Even nods, pressing his forehead against Isak’s. “Let’s do it.”

“And hey, bonus. You’re even wearing clothes this time.”

Even just cuffs him on the head. 

Later, after Isak has finished his Oreo McFlurry and Even has gulped down an order of fries, they enter a 24-hour supermarket. Only the cashier is still working, but he gives them the barest of acknowledgements from where he’s blearily playing Candy Crush on his phone.

They buy the most candy bars they can with the spare money in their pockets. The chocolate melts between their lips and sticks to their teeth as they lazily make out back in the safety of Isak’s room, the end of Notting Hill still playing on Isak’s laptop. _I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her._

Maybe this new year isn’t a beginning. Even won’t transform into someone calmer, wiser. Late-night McDonald’s runs will be as pathetic as they’ve always been. Even plans on kissing Isak at midnight, but a kiss is just a kiss. The world doesn’t become more profound overnight.  

Maybe this New Year isn’t a beginning, but it’s been starting all along.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Watch me scream into the void at 4am on my [tumblr](http://adamparishe.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
